Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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