Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
