Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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