omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
