the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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