At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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