Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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