Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
