I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
