When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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