There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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