i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
it's like heaven, but drunker
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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