mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
