I think im going to throw up on grandma
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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