East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I will die if light touches me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
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