That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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