i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
