you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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