In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
