I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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