hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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