who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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