we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
