I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm really busy with my period
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