i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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