I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
