You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
