careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
