you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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