it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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