At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
