She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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