u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
