After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize