bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
