Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She told me I should be a condom model.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
