Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize