where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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