So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
