you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
