I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.