I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
