You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
