I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
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His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
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I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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