i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She told me I should be a condom model.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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