Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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