im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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