If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
accomplished twins. life is a go
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
