i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
