i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
