woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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