he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
