That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
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I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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