My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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