i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
my liver is dry heaving
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
