Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
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OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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