I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize
