so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
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The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
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Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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